I’m the kind of person who likes to keep it real. I try to say what I mean and mean what I say. I tend to be a “straight shooter”. I’m also the kind of person who smiles through the pain, puts on a brave face and “pushes through”. We live in a world where filters, photo shop, and “picture perfect” are the expected, albeit deceiving, representations of life. I know not every post/comment is “fake”, but we certainly tend to share the highlights of our lives for others to see rather than the tough stuff. And the truth is, we are ALL dealing with tough stuff in some shape or form, now more than ever. I heard someone say today, “I don’t know what to believe, what’s REAL, anymore!”, and it struck a chord with me.
In a moment of weakness recently, I made a very honest (REAL) post on social media about the mental struggle I was feeling in this season of life. My post said: “On the struggle bus…Not sleeping much. Back/neck discomfort. Battling CoVid fear. Don’t feel like doing anything. I want to have a good/positive mindset for the new year, but the struggle is real right now. Trying my best to lean into Jesus. Can anyone relate? Or is it just me?” I was AMAZED at the response and in hindsight I realize God was teaching me (and maybe others) through this. I felt like it might be worth sharing what I learned through this process as a way to encourage us to be more REAL with one another, even in the world of social media.
Here’s what God has taught me:
Being REAL takes courage. If we want to be real, we must make ourselves vulnerable. We must get rid of facades and personas and be willing to let our imperfections be seen. We have to be willing to admit we don’t have it all together (in spite of what we try to portray online). We have to humble ourselves. We have to recognize our weaknesses. We have to be willing to open ourselves up to unsolicited advice and possibly even criticism. We must understand that some will have compassion and understanding, while others may reject or avoid your realness. Regardless, we must find a way to be REAL with what we are feeling and experiencing. Granted, it doesn’t necessarily have to be on social media, but you should try finding the courage to be REAL with someone.
Being REAL encourages others to be REAL. I was truly amazed by the response my post prompted. I had many comments, likes, and even private messages within an hour. Some of these were just words of encouragement for me to ‘press on’, but a lot of them were people being REAL back. You see, I wasn’t the only one feeling some of those things, but my willingness to “verbalize” it gave others the courage to communicate how they were feeling too, and there’s freedom in that. Sometimes you need to know that you are not alone in the way you’re feeling. I guess that’s why I finished my post with “Can anyone relate?” It’s nice to know you’re not the only one feeling a certain way…not in a ‘misery loves company’ kind of way, but in a ‘you are not alone’ kind of way.
Being REAL is necessary. The truth is, there is only so long you can ‘fake it till you make it’. You need to be able to be REAL with yourself, your significant other, your family, your friends, and even the world. The bottom line is we all struggle. We all hurt. We all experience loss. We all have “bad” days. And that’s ok. I’m not sure when we bought into the lie that we needed to have it all together, or at least appear to. Maybe it’s due to social media. Maybe it’s pride. I think we have bought into the lie of perfection. Nobody is perfect, and we need to be ok with that. We have to stop trying to appear to be.
Being REAL brings healing. The bible says, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” (John 8:32) There is freedom that comes in being real. As I mentioned before, my willingness to express my true feelings allowed others to express theirs. We were able to encourage one another. It helped me to know I wasn’t the only one feeling the way I was. Being real with others can help validate what we are feeling, and vice versa. It’s also a time to recognize that there are always others who have it worse than you, and others that have it better than you. The responses I received also prompted me to begin praying for and encouraging others who were struggling. We are called to help carry one another’s burdens. Now, these feelings (struggles) haven’t magically dissipated, but I don’t feel like I’m drowning in them anymore, that’s for sure.
Being REAL should be the norm. Considering the current state of affairs, I think we need more REAL in our lives. Depression, anxiety, and suicide rates are sky rocketing right now and so many people feel alone and isolated. What if we flipped the script and made our “realness” (good, bad and ugly) the new norm? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condoning attacking others you don’t agree with, self-deprecating, or fear-mongering, but rather a humble willingness to admit our struggles and weaknesses. Imagine how different our world would look right now. Maybe we would all be a little gentler and kinder with one another.
So, let me challenge you, get REAL. Be honest about what you’re feeling. You might be surprised at the ways God can use your REALness to bring healing, to you and others. And Lord knows, we could all use that.