If you’ve ever seen the movie Anchorman, you’ll remember the scene when a room full of men (including Will Ferell and Steve Carell) are yelling at the station manager about the recent addition of a woman to the news crew. They each take a turn making their argument about the situation at hand. And then Steve Carell steps up and yells, “Loud Noises!” It’s comical in a sense because he wants to be part of the dialogue, but really doesn’t have anything worthwhile to say. I can relate to that scene, especially recently. There are so many “Loud Noises” happening in the world today. Now, I’m not referring to one specific issue, so if you’re an anti-protester or a Black Lives Matter proponent, don’t get fired up. I’m not referring to you. I’m referring to me.
Last night, I left my home to escape all the “Loud Noises” that seem to be happening. It became too much for me to handle any more. There’s been a lot to deal with in 2020. My beloved Father passed away at 66 years old in January, and I haven’t been able to properly grieve him yet. The CoVid virus robbed me and my students of learning and performing together, with no warning or needed closure. There have been over 380,000 worldwide deaths now from the virus, and people have had to die alone. George Floyd was senselessly murdered by an officer who was sworn to serve and protect. People are peacefully protesting and speaking out against racism, which is actually admirable. Then there are others who seek to push an agenda and incite violence, which is causing more sorrow and grief. People spew hate and judgment all over social media toward anyone and everyone who may have even a slightly different perspective on an issue. If you don’t say anything (or enough), you’re wrong. If you say too much, you’re wrong. There are so many LOUD NOISES in the world. I just want it to STOP.
Most days I teeter between feeling extremely fragile and utterly furious with this thing called life, and the God who allows it all to happen like it does. So, last night, after a tense family dinner, I decided I needed to find some peace and quiet and stop the noise for a bit. I packed an overnight bag and headed to my car to “run away” for a day or two. I thought I might head to my Mom’s lovely little log cabin in the woods for a visit, but first I drove to the cemetery. I went to the grave of my daughter, Katie Beth, who was killed in an automobile accident on September 5, 2016. My life changed forever that day. I’m not the same person I was before that day, and I never will be. And my conversation with God began there on that bench by her graveside as the sun was setting. “Why, God? Why does it have to be like this? How did we get here? Can’t you do something to make it better??” I wept in silence and tried to listen, but there was nothing. I sat there frustrated, but decided I needed to keep listening. I hopped in the car and started toward home instead of Mom’s, but never made it there. As I drove, I began to ask God what I needed to do to be able to hear him and He said go somewhere and turn off all the noise. So, as I treated myself to an ice cream at the Sonic Drive Thru, I pulled into a parking lot and deleted all social media apps off my phone. That was the first step. Then I began driving again, even though I wasn’t quite sure where I would end up. Oddly enough, God led me to the quietest, most peaceful little Bed & Breakfast Inn on a mountaintop not so far away from home.
I checked in at 10 pm last night and let my husband know I was safe and sound. I booked one night, but told the clerk I might stay another night. There’s a TV here, but I had no desire to turn it on. I plugged my phone up across the room (silent mode), climbed in bed, and soaked in the silence. It was wonderful. I continued my conversation with God, and I found some sweet rest in Him. He didn’t give me all the answers to the questions I had, but he listened and He gently held me while I cried.
I woke up early to partake in the tasty breakfast provided by the Innkeeper. His name is Ed. We spoke briefly. He asked what my plans for the day were. I told him I wasn’t sure, but I wanted to do some exploring and spend some time with the Lord. He didn’t try to force me into conversation, which was really nice. Maybe he sensed that I was trying to enjoy some solitude. Rita, the B & B pet dog, came and greeted me and sat right by my chair while I ate. I’m sure she was hoping for a bite from my plate, which I may or may not have provided, but she was so affectionate and loving toward me (a complete stranger to her) and it affected me. It was a nice way to start the morning off. We could take a lesson from Rita. I took a stroll around the property after breakfast and began talking to Abba again. “Lead me today. Take me where you want me to go. Show me what you want me to see. Speak to me. I have no agenda, God.” Hmm...this should be my prayer every day.
And so the adventure began. I drove all over, and around, and up and down this mountain. I parked in spots and walked, and talked (to God, nobody else), and listened, saw some beautiful scenery (see photos), and my soul was refreshed. I exchanged a few short text messages with family members throughout the day and ordered my lunch & dinner from a restaurant, but other than that, it was just me and God. No loud noises.
At one point, God spoke and told me I needed to write about this. So others might be encouraged to find a way to turn off some noise. Now, I don’t have all the answers and I know not everyone can just “run away” with Jesus like I did, but I wonder if you have felt overwhelmed by loud noises in your own life at times. I’m very blessed that my current work schedule and financial standing allow me to take this time away to “be still and know”, but you may not be able to do that, especially on a whim. But is there a way you can turn off some of the noise that is pressing in on you? Can you “come away” with Him? (Mark 6:31) If you want to be able to hear that still, small voice you may have to find a really quiet place, and that’s really hard in this broken world we live in.
Tomorrow I will drive down the mountain and return to “life”, and I pray I am able to find a way to keep the volume of this world from overwhelming me again. The enemy is at work. He is prowling. He is seeking to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10), and he is succeeding, all around us. I don’t want to be part of that, in any way. Help me Lord, not be a “loud noise”, but a sweet song. To speak life. To show love to all. To be an instrument of peace. To bind up the brokenhearted. To be like Jesus. For He came to give us LIFE. And he gave HIS life, so that we could have a relationship with you. Lord, I pray for healing for this broken world we live in. We need you. I need you. I’m broken. Pour your spirit out and mend me (and this world) like a beautiful piece of Kintsugi (google it if you don’t know what this is). Help us to turn off the loud noises of this world so we can hear you more clearly. For YOU are the sweet, sweet sound we need more of.
The Lord your God is with you,
the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
**For more information about the Bed & Breakfast Inn, e-mail us at info@liveandloveministries.com**